the voice of thy oct


sometimes. i wonder. most of the time i wonder. ever just look at your dog and wonder what the hell they were thinking? then sometimes you speak for your dog. mine is done in a slightly higher pitched voice. like a little girls voice. this tone i have assigned to Oct. half the time i wondering if i am accurate about voicing her thoughts. when she doesnt or do not act according to my spoken thoughts for her then i know the answer. god i hope i am right on point. i can only start to think about what Oct knows. or what she is willing to part. this is assuming dogs have no concept of social rules of the humans. but who am i kidding. dogs know more then we think. they just dont have the same cares or wants as we do. i know ive chosen the right dog for me. living with a scotty is never boring. although she cares to do little without me. shes a blast when she gets a going.

i had a moment earlier today. it was outside in the still damped grass that just been marinating in dog urine and waste. oh it was a beautiful morning. i was walking little miss and it just hit me how much boyfriend puts up with me. after all of this we are still together. i still wake up next to him, usually he is all over the bed, this man knows how to sleep. both of our alarms went off. 8.45 am. it was time to get up and go to church. ha ha like that really happened. i felt his energy. boyfriend was still asleep. i still rose from the chamber to greet the day. i honestly didnt even try to wake him up. lately theres been a voice inside of me that been calm. peaceful. its speaks to me. all i have to do is be quiet to hear it. i have a really good energy to me right now. the colors would be blue. soft. i just know what i am feeling is deep and its true. so im going to run with it.

let me touch base with this whole Mormon thing. i can truly say i am impressed. this religion seems friendly. i must ask this. is there such as thing as a religion being too happy? because i wonder if boyfriend and i can even possibly achieve such level of being that happy all the time. they say being doubtful already sets you up for failure. so then you have to ask yourself if you can stop being doubtful, is that the path you want to follow? however, by not choosing you leave everything open for possibility. this is known. i find it striking to discover that Mormons use the story of Ishmael and Abraham vs. the Catholics with Issac and Abraham. they share this common tread with the Hebrews. this just may be the religion ive been looking for. i guess i never put too much taught into it. more and more passing i have become curious about becoming Jewish. ive been drawn to it for some time i just never put too much effort into it. and lately with my prayers i cant help but two and two together.

ive always said theres a two week waiting period for god to get back to you with your prayers. its just a little humor. but i seriously believe in that statement. i will always have just what i need and never more. it keeps me closest to god. its time to send up some thank you praise. theres just something with being close to god. welp. either get to swimming or get to drowning.

About moderndaigoddess

out on my own, these are my words about how crazy life can get
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