4th pee in.

every have that feeling that god is stopping you from knowing something. like too many of the errors every possibly pregnant woman just hates to see. i have successfully taken 4 pregnancy test 3 different brands. all duds. unknowns. errors. i seriously feel that this is a sign from god that i am not suppose to know yet. do i feel pregnant? not really. but I’m going on two weeks late. i have crafted and devoured a peanut butter banana pepper granola jelly sandwich and it was amazing. my mouth was just watering as i was putting it together. the smell alone from the peppers is enough to fill the nile. I’ve given up smoking. pretty much just like that. when no signs from my period i just. stopped. not desires or craving for them cancer sticks. oh well. I’ve been waiting to quit for a minute. but i knew i wasn’t ready till now.

boyfriend is obsessed that i am pregnant. all he wants to do is have sex. and anyone knowing boyfriend. would know that is the wildest thing he ever wanted. not that we don’t have a normal sex life. he is just not the every day every night type of guy. something i valued in him when we were in our early stages of our relationship. i can honestly say i don’t want anyone else but him. sure he’s a pain in my back somedays but i can’t even picture anyone else but him. when he is not here i am usually in his closet. finding articles i can wear. we are about the same size. i just have more ass. then i spend the rest of the time watching girly movies on netflix. something i normally couldn’t do if he was home. i really just don’t do much when he’s not here. its quiet. a bliss i love the most. i just wish he was here to share it with me. but then it wouldn’t be quiet.

truthfully. i feel complete. i have my family that i built. me. myself. and him. we have our little dog. a crazy kitten. and each other. what more could i ask for?


About moderndaigoddess

out on my own, these are my words about how crazy life can get
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