Let me down gently

Oh the feels right now. God my temper is going unchecked right now. I don’t know what it is. I know I’m pms-ing but damn. I think I need to take some Advil maybe I’m not paying attention to my body. I know I’ve switched off my mind to it because I’m secretly hoping I’m pregnant. I’ve been so busy lately that i haven’t noticed how late I am. That could mean two things. I’m pregnant or this is about to be the worst period of the year. 

I’ve starting my new job, once again in retail. I have a lot of mixed emotions about it. On the scale of retail jobs I’ve landed a decent one. I can’t really complain about the pride I get when I tell people wear I work. It’s one of those where you have had to been a manger or have a great track record. I have both plus a bonus of having once done a paid project for a billion dollar industry with the papers to show for it. The work is not difficult but people expect you to know your product. And they will tell you when you disappoint them. I have even seen my store manager tell a guy to take his business elsewhere. This guy was trying to get a huge discount for spending over 2k on a tv. But we sell that size 4K tv on a regular basis and usually in multiples….

Th problems I having is a supervisor of mine. My first night closing with her she started to fluff up to me. Before I probably would’ve thought it was a way of her trying to be friendly to me, then proceed to try to win her approval. Because I thought I needed to be her friend. But I’m wiser now. I recognize for what it is. She’s trying to assert her dominance, or show me who is the big boss in the section. She’s jealous of me. For what I could only guess. However I am not going to allow her to bully me. For that I am proud of myself. I am going to continue to do me and get on with life. I have a wonder boyfriend and this job isn’t my life. I may spend most of my time there it’s what’s at home that I am thankful for. Her jealously doesn’t bother me. I can’t help if no one likes her. 

That’s another thing that I am liking about this job. I’m actually having fun. This is probably the first place over worked that I am accepted by everyone. I think I a lot has to do with I’m in a relationship with boyfriend. Being interracial couple is finally having its perks now. We still deal with some of the older community, the stares, the questions on the worse days but boyfriend and I just take it in leaps. 

I miss my mother so much right now. The holidays are the worst for me. But only because I miss sharing them with my mom. Madre. Mommy. Life giver. Life taker. Wisdom guru. The one that still heals my boo boos. I just miss her. Flat out. One day I am going to get my wish and madre will move with me and boyfriend. Life goals. 

Alright guys. I’m going to have to go back inside and talk to boyfriend. I’ve been rather nasty today. Hormones man. They really know how to take a good bitch down. Adios. 

About moderndaigoddess

out on my own, these are my words about how crazy life can get
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