Admitting defeat is the purest sin. My father used to tell me. Most of my life I’ve wondered about that statement. Missing the chance to ask him to explain on that last summer day. We are gone now. Life has taken us desperate ways. Hungerly licking at our souls.
I don’t think you understand. Even I question my steps. For the most part I’ve fucked up a lot but then again I’m in a land of peace now.
My heart raced today. I instantly got sick. I pondered why my reaction was so instant. Then I rememeber who I associated with that feeling. Now she’s gone and I don’t really miss the emotional roller coaster. My life is simple now. I have boyfriend and he has me.
He keeps bringing up rings. Like “hey babes have you looked at rings yet” yes. My answer is yes. I have. But I quit looking when I realized that boyfriend is probably never going to get me a ring. He is selfish and only knowing how to cater to himself. It’s cool. He has till our two year mark before I get wise and leave him. Then again. A lot can happen between now And then. I’m just not holding my breathe.