It would be different if 

Today I witness a grown black man punch a white female in the head three times while she was driving. I was driving behind them. It was a black Impala on air port thruway. Sure I had dialed 911. Sure I said something. But I also slammed in the horn and cut them off. Got out and stormed the car. How dare he. What the fuck was this asshole thinking. It was pure rage. He ended up trying to play innocent. But He sure did run the fuck off. 

Needless to say boyfriend was not happy. Like what the fuck was I thinking? What if he had a gun? What was going to stop him from coming after you? Yes I know. But he didn’t. At least I did something. 

But it would be different if I was a guy. 

He said it. And there was a tiny crack in my love for him. What? Did he really just say that to me? Don’t you dare Jon Locke me. Not today. Not right now. I will be damned if someone will ever tell me to my face that I can not do something. And definitely not because I am a girl. 

Excuse me sir, who the fuck are you? 

He doesn’t understand. I was raised by a very strong and independent woman. Yes I had a father, I know him very well, and they are still married. But he was never there, you know, the classical father always running away from home. Only to return a few days, weeks, months, and years later. There was one time I didn’t see my dad for six years. There only two things I was always associate with him. A liquor bottle. And a old school corded phone. That’s all I ever got from him. 

In school. I was what you would call the bully of bullies. I was always the fattest and tallest kid in class. My older brother had a reputation as the big buff guy. He ended up stopping at 6’4. Everyone was scared of me. And most still are. But all I ever wanted was everyone to like each other. Maybe then people would be nice to me for a change. I guess you can say I was fighting an endless war. There will always be bullies. But I’m just that one asshole that will stop them. 

Put two and two together. And natural there is a complete red zone. Bullies to females. I can’t stand it. I don’t know if it’s because a man shouldn’t hit a woman or if it’s because I’m angry at the girl for not standing up for herself. 

As for boyfriend and I? Well. Just because I am with someone doesn’t mean I always have to agree to everything they say or do. It’s called respect. 

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About moderndaigoddess

out on my own, these are my words about how crazy life can get
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